Alex doesn’t always drift peacefully off after we bolt him into his bedroom for the night. He’s honed many tactics for getting us to open the door. First and favorite seems to be rattling the doorknob and screeching. We wish he’d screech “Mommy!” or “Daddy!” instead of his usual impersonation of a trapped parrot, but […]
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Cook-KIE!
Alex would learn to pilot an F-16 in exchange for a chocolate-chip cookie. Autism parenting sites all warn about overusing bribes, but nothing sticks Alex to his barber’s chair or to a seat at a family event like a chocolate chip cookie. Jill whipped them out to get us all through last Passover (“Sit down, […]
Lions & Cowboys & Alex, Oh My
Thanksgiving looms, and from Bar Harbor to Honolulu families all across America will soon be salivating over turkey, cheering over football, and chasing Alex. Maybe not the Alex part, at least by that name, unless you happen to me. I haven’t had a Thanksgiving for 10 years, really. We usually spend it with some branch […]
Bolting’s End
Four months ago a 14-year-old boy with autism ran out an open door of his school in Queens, N.Y., and, to those who loved him, vanished. Through the following weeks he became known to everyone else. Each morning I walked Ned to the train to send him to school and heard the subway loudspeaker: “Police […]
Guidelines for Relating to Your Wife Dur...
Between the decision to divorce and the physical separation, you and your wife are stranded between two worlds: your past life together and your future lives apart. It is only natural during this period of limbo that emotions run high. Even the slightest miscue can lead to an explosion that could irrevocably damage your chances […]
5 Primary Goals for Divorced Fathers
There are 5 primary goals for divorced fathers to adhere to: 1. Keep your promises. Your kids are depending on you, and kept promises are an important way you can create stability during a time of uncertainty. Each broken promise, no matter how small, reduces their trust in you a little bit, and can really […]
Live-Away Dads
Whether through divorce, deployment or frequent travel, some dads live away from their children for long periods. Despite what we may think (or others may tell us) living away does NOT prevent a vibrant, loving and lasting relationship. Here are some ideas for how to keep the connection strong (as usual, pronouns alternate between daughter […]
Lazy Dadurday
“What do you guys want for breakfast?” I ask my three pajama-wearing kids flopped sleepily over two couches on a promising Saturday morning. They’re with me every Saturday morning as part of a divorce agreement. We call it “Lazy Dadurday.” And lazy it is. We wake up late, then trek to the bookstore, the pet […]
3 Rules for Single Dads for the Holidays
Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas—the holidays are coming. You love those little rascals and you want to be with them; you want to share all the wonderful experiences the holidays promise—but you’re divorced—or you are getting a divorce—and you don’t want to share them with your ex. What to do? Here are three rules that will help […]
A Father’s Reflections on the Future of
Her voice, at this hour, comes muffled from behind a bedroom door, filling an otherwise silent hall with words from storybooks. Sometimes she is accompanied by orchestral music playing softly at her bedside. As the seasons have turned decidedly cooler, so too has her music evolved. By the light of a Christmas tree standing no […]