{"id":15590,"date":"2026-02-09T18:00:47","date_gmt":"2026-02-10T01:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fatherville.com\/?p=15590"},"modified":"2026-02-09T18:07:02","modified_gmt":"2026-02-10T01:07:02","slug":"the-dog-who-wasnt-there","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fatherville.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/09\/the-dog-who-wasnt-there\/","title":{"rendered":"The Dog Who Wasn’t There"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Few things feel more normal <\/em>than taking your dog for a walk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a habit you build. Gender, age, race, sun or rain\u2014it doesn\u2019t matter. Walking your dog becomes a ritual all dog owners adopt soon after introducing that beast into their lives\u2014at least if you\u2019re interested in caring for the animal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In our case, we take the community path along an irrigation ditch and circle back through the neighborhood. Everyone\u2019s routine looks a little different\u2014daily trips to the dog park, endless rounds of fetch, or a nightly pilgrimage to the nearest green space so everyone can burn off some energy before bedtime. The point is, dog lovers do it\u2014day after day\u2014slogging the same familiar paths with man\u2019s best friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And someday, we hope our kids will grow up and walk their own dog.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My oldest is now considered \u201cgrown-up.\u201d Last year, around the age most kids graduate college, he moved 500 miles from home after taking a job in Seattle working for an American multinational automotive and clean energy company\u2014you know the one\u2014whose ownership managed, in four short months, to anger the entire country. Still, it was a good job and a great opportunity for him to get out on his own. Along the way, he even hinted at getting a dog.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ironically, I found myself hesitant about the idea. That hesitation forced me to realize I hadn\u2019t fully dealt with my own fear of cutting the apron strings. Getting a dog comes with complications\u2014does your landlord allow pets, should you start with a puppy or adopt, have you considered the monthly expenses, the vet bills, and of course, will you actually walk the dog?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSure\u2014move out on your own, get your first apartment, feed yourself, purchase auto insurance, decide whether you want to brush your teeth or make your bed. Heck, you\u2019re old enough to buy a gun or weigh the pros and cons of legalized marijuana. But whatever you do\u2014don\u2019t buy a dog.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It sounds stupid when you say it out loud. But there it was. I was afraid my kid<\/em> wasn\u2019t mature enough to walk his own dog.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yet week after week, month after month, we watched him succeed at the little things\u2014paying rent, brushing his teeth, and avoiding being physically assaulted by protestors screaming insults about where he worked. Slowly, a realization dawned on me: he might actually be old enough to have his own dog.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then we got good news. No\u2014not that he was getting a dog. He was coming home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He\u2019d secured a transfer to a dealership in our community and asked if I could come up to help him pack and drive the U-Haul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCongrats\u2014of course. When\u2019s the big day?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We made arrangements. I\u2019d fly to Seattle, and because his lease ended on his final day of work, I\u2019d arrive a couple of days early to clean and pack his apartment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the week came, I landed in Seattle and arrived to find a surprisingly tidy place\u2014packing supplies purchased, boxes filled and stacked. Apparently my adult son was on top of things. That Friday, I drove with him to work and waited in the lobby for an hour before U-Haul opened. The plan was for him to drive me the 2.3 miles at our appointment time on his break. But when it was time to leave, he was tied up and couldn\u2019t get away. I texted him from the waiting room that I\u2019d be happy to walk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWalk?\u201d he texted back. \u201c…in Seattle?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSure. The rain won\u2019t hurt me,\u201d I replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI wasn\u2019t worried about the rain. Just take my keys\u2014we\u2019ll figure out my car later,\u201d he fired back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m a grown adult and it\u2019s 9 a.m. I\u2019ll let you know when I get there,\u201d I said, setting off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Half a mile in, I was enjoying the walk\u2014breathing in the freshness that light rain brings even to a big city. This had been the right choice. It was everything you\u2019d expect from a Seattle stroll: cloudy skies, beautiful trees, green everywhere. I passed coffee shops, cannabis dispensaries, and what felt like alternating pho and teriyaki restaurants on every corner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But as I went, I began to understand my son\u2019s concern. Graffiti covered buildings. Signs of homelessness were everywhere\u2014abandoned underwear, socks, urine bottles littering the street. At a bus stop, I noticed the automatic ticket machines had been vandalized. Then I saw a dead cat on the sidewalk, clearly decomposing for months, its ribs showing through dehydrated skin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had just decided I was glad to be walking this stretch in daylight when my phone buzzed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEverything alright?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was my son\u2014checking in on me. I\u2019d been gone twelve minutes, and he was worried, like I was a newly licensed driver on my first solo trip.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I toyed with snarky replies\u2014\u201cI just grabbed a coffee from the Bikini Mocha Drive-Thru, then headed into the Adult Video Bookstore\u201d<\/em>\u2014but settled on the universal thumbs-up emoji. No need to get sarcastic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s when I saw the guy walking his dog a short distance ahead of me\u2014a little sign of normalcy and adulting in the rain. I couldn\u2019t quite make out the breed, but it was small and energetic, darting into the landscaping of nearby businesses. I assumed it was on a retractable leash. I lost sight of them as I crossed a busy intersection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A block later, I realized my mistake. The guy wasn\u2019t walking a dog. Or even a cat. He was walking an RC truck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I swear it looked like a dog from a distance. Even when we passed each other, it felt like he was walking a pet\u2014from the way he held the remote near his body to how he guided the RC truck into a gentle \u201ctrot\u201d ahead of him. As we passed, he even nodded at me, just as a dog owner would, as if to say, Thanks for being patient with my ill-mannered canine.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have no idea whether he was demoing a new model for a shop down the street or was a grown man suffering from Peter Pan syndrome. But in that moment, I realized what I\u2019d truly feared for my son\u2014not that he\u2019d get a dog, but that he might never grow up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My phone buzzed again. \u201cYou there yet?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here I was, walking to pick up a U-Haul my son had paid for himself, two states away from home, after he\u2019d navigated groceries, traffic, and adult life just fine\u2014and I was worried about him growing up? Of course I was. Worried he wouldn\u2019t make enough money, buy a home, get married, have kids, or walk his stupid dog.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And suddenly it struck me\u2014my worries were about as helpful as another text that read, \u201cLet me know if you need anything.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I picked up the U-Haul without issue, packed most of it before he got off work, and left the next morning. He stayed behind to wrap up loose ends and drive his car home the following day. That long drive gave me plenty of time to wrestle with the unhelpful fears I\u2019d somehow tied to dog ownership and adulthood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On one hand, maybe it wouldn\u2019t be wise for him to buy a pet just yet. It could easily become a situation where the tail wagged the dog. But on the other hand\u2014what good was my worrying doing either of us?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A friend once told me about adult kids, \u201cYou have to be okay with their decisions being different than yours. And dumber.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So what if he buys a dog? He\u2019ll figure it out. He\u2019ll just add it to the long list of chores he gets to call life\u2014along with brushing his teeth and amortizing a mortgage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the meantime, I\u2019m going to go walk my dog\u2014and try not to hover.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Copyright 2026 John<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Few things feel more normal than taking your dog for a walk. It\u2019s a habit you build. Gender, age, race, sun or rain\u2014it doesn\u2019t matter. Walking your dog becomes a ritual all dog owners adopt soon after introducing that beast into their lives\u2014at least if you\u2019re interested in caring for the animal. In our case, we take […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"give_campaign_id":0,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[31,57],"class_list":["post-15590","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-every-day-dad","tag-everyday-dad","tag-leaving-the-nest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatherville.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15590","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatherville.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatherville.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatherville.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatherville.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15590"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/fatherville.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15590\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15591,"href":"https:\/\/fatherville.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15590\/revisions\/15591"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fatherville.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15590"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatherville.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15590"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fatherville.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15590"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}