I have to say I agree with Mike, you can't jump to harsh conclusions, that is how mistakes get made. My personal opinion, and please take it as just that, is spankings are an option but a last resort. My daughter is 1 1/2 years old and she is very respectful, knows the rules, and follows them, and I haven't laid a hand on her. I realize that every child is different and responds to different types of dicipline differently....but I have always kept the idea of a spanking as a last resort. I remember having 2 spankings growing up, and I needed them both, but there were better methods of teaching me a lesson, and I turned out to be a very polite, respectful, kind, caring ect person. So, I would suggest that the two housholds have a discussion without children who can hear what is being discussed, and try to figure out the best plan of action for discipline. Everyone should be able to expess themselves in a civil manner, being considerate of the others involved. So, share your feelings be open to listen too, and ALWAYS think of what is best for your child, because THAT IS YOUR JOB. Best of luck in solving things peacefully, getting into the courts only causes more hurt, discontent, and lawyer fees all around. After custody is established the best route is out of court.
Again Good Luck,